Breaking Up and Moving On

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.
2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.
3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.
4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.
5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?
6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.
7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.
8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine. Good luck!


http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/breakingup/a/breakuphelper.htm

Mencari Diri

No one is close enough to know me... or nobody has known me completely... because.. every march... I will change to somebody else... the reason is I want to know who I really am... and which one that comfort me so well...

2002, Quite (mix)

I act himself as Transquilz (the quiet one) my friends don't know anything but my name... I'm too quite until you didn't notice me even I were beside you... I refuse to talk, refuse to communicate with anybody, don't want to involve....*yeah, I'm a kid with a huge problems*

2003, Rude (black metal)

This year is the year I'm getting to form 1... I'm simply rude to my friends and teachers... because their still stranger to me.. I don't like stranger..(until now I don't like stranger) nobody want be friend with me because of my attitude.. but after I join Hockey Club.. my teammates were my friends

2004, Cool(cold) (alt rock)

As a form2 student.. I'm followed RP gang(rebelious punk) under Azif's brother in Tutong... what I meant cool is, my appearances....totally different from now haha and playing Yo-Yo is the thing that I do.. I put it in my pocket even @school...if got fight, I use yo-yo as my weapon..*simply as that* what I meant cold is... I'm just don't care about "YOU", paham kan? =)

2005, Emo(the worst year EVAAAA) (emo)

why I put Emo? I was so emotional... I'm out from RP gang but still contact with them and hang out with them that time.. I'm having my first gf, *not my 1st love*, and this is the year that I accidently broke my right knee(severe injury) causing me had to stop any heavy activities such as Hockey, Football, and etc.... ='s eventhou I try to become emo but failed because this year was soooo many things happend and I don't want to point every thing of it that cause me to the next year.

2006, Nobody (emo,alt rock,metal)

Nobody... this is where I knew I got no friends.. and having nightmare more often... this year, I'm prefer to be alone.. early morning at school I go to a place that nobody there.. I will stayed there until class begin.. nobody care bout me because I'm just nobody.. everyday depress... every night crying...*yeah, I know... pathetic) ==' but it really happend

2007, Kind (rock and metal)

now, I got 3 friends that simply the best... their both ex-RP gang.. so I knew them.. perubahan amatlah ketara dimana aku mula melayan kawan2 ku..mula kenal2 rakan kelas ku.. 5A and 5Sci is my friends that tym... =) hehe feeling good friends with you eventhough having the enemy be a friend.. *talur* later I was told by my teacher that I'm one of the kind....

*extra*there a scene in this year where I'd break up with my girl... and I cried about One Night! and that was the last time I cried about love...

2008, Kind (pop)

I'ld continue my personality from previous year... but I didnt get the one of the kind title..because of I'm involve in a fight where I taking the hit that aiming to my friend ==' hehe erm apa lagi? inda bnyk la.. memandangkan aku injured...inda bnyk activity aku buat..inda banyak perubahan...sama macam taun lepas...

2009, Laugher (heavy metal)

malas ku explain..nanti2 sha ku explain...sal baru taun lepas wa hahahaha

2010, ?????? (?love?)

............................. what will it be?